I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
