Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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