I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
it was like eating out sand paper
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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