so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize