I hate all girls vehemently.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Help. Why am I so naked?
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