if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
