Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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