Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
