So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
