I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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