I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
