I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
