Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize