wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
