i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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