wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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