I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I smell stomach acid.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
