I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
