I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
