is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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