first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize