I'm lost and stupid without you.
i already hear my dad disowning me
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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