just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
