he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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