i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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