im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
