Im at strip club and am horny
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
