How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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