Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize