You really coming over, don't trick.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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