Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
