Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Randomize
