I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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