He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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