The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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