i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
