Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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