I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
