WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
