Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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