Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize