the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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