Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
