Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
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