And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
