I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize