I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
