Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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