this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
