The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
