My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
sex in a hospital.. check
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
