omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Sober January is a disaster.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
