Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
