Me too!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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