I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
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he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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