I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize