More tranny stories later!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
