guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
