We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
