It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo