From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
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this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i came on her dog
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
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I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.