still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
