dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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