I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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