Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
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.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
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we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"