i think my mom watched the whole time
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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