I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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