Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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