he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
