he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
