Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
