And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
