have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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