I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
